Pain = Pleasure?

If you've been wondering where I disappeared to in the last couple of weeks, and if you are still waiting anxiously for my next post, fear not, I'm here, I'm alive, and I'm still sexy. LOL. Anyway, here's a story for you guys:

A friend of mine once had a vibrator stuck in his ass because he was devastated with the pain that it brought. I know this is not a very good introduction to what I will discuss to you but that is the reality of our topic. Anal sex, if not done properly, is not an enjoyable thing. I find it unfair for guys who want to penetrate a woman's rear then get really paranoid when it's their turn to be probed.  Some think inflicting pain is a no-no. Some, however, believe there is no pleasure without pain. And then some take it to the extremes and say, "PAIN=PLEASURE." Well, I believe one should try everything at least once to find out if it's for you or not.

I really wonder how come some guys have problems having any type of business in their bum holes except for number twos. Remember why Steve Stifler of American Pie loved it? He found the beauty induced by the fudge packer! Since you are so scared of anyone touching your heiny hole, allow me to help you get your first outstanding rim job. Tell your partner to read and learn. Oh, this is making me really excited!

CLEAR THE HOLE

Doing the "number 2" at least an hour or so on her part will make the passageway clean and clear and will ensure that nothing is encountered during any penetration (unless you're into that, I suppose). Bathe the area. I remember reading an advice coming from a porn star. She said before engaging in anal sex, don't eat beans for at least three days. I guess you know what that's for.

CLEAN UP!

Bathe before and after sex, my teacher in sex education used to say. Especially if you've agreed to your partner that "rimming" and/or "fudge packing" is a part of your itinerary. You don't want any brown thing surprising you before hitting the chocolate road, do you?

KEEP IT COATED

Use a condom. AIDS, STDs, gonorrhea, syphilis, genital warts, herpes, etc. can be transmitted through anal sex. You don't have to have "fudge" on your "tony," how much more acquiring these diseases?

GET WET-AND GREASY

The anus does not lubricate as much as a vagina, so please, for goodness sake, before you put something in there make sure you've got Vaseline or get the O' My Infinity silicone based lubricant.

TAKE IT SLOW

I remember before my first anal experience, my partner did the right thing by taking it slow, not shoving it all in there. Start by licking it first, then after a few rounds insert a finger. Let her be comfortable with it, then move on to bigger things.

RELAX

For anyone who hasn't done it, the tendency is to flex your bum hole because you are anticipating the penetration. DO NOT DO THIS. It's the same principle as getting injections: If you get your muscles tense it will hurt even more, so relax your hole and let it slide. It's not the first time something slides there, right? It's easy to have something sliding out, so it will be easy for you to have something sliding in.

IS IT PAINFUL?

Yes, especially if done the wrong way. Normally it's a little painful. It will give you a weird feeling—like you want to take a dump—but aroused at the same time. On your next attempts, you're probably going to love it more than I do.

TURN IT AROUND

To make her feel even more comfortable, you encourage her to play with you as well. Do the same thing to you because once that she knows you are also willing to what you'll subject her to, she will be more open to the idea. Anal sex is a great way to explore each other's bodies.

Enjoy, guys and girls! I really wish I could watch you apply these tricks!